The morning of June 8th, I woke up and thought to myself " I could be pregnant another week, this isn't so bad." That's when I knew it might be the day...because for weeks all I could think of was how to get this baby out of me.
Sure enough, by 8pm that evening the contractions started. Mild, but 5 minutes apart. By 1am they were 4 minutes apart and their intensity suddenly changed. Since this was baby # 2 I was worried about not making it to the hospital, so off we went!
As soon as we checked in to the hospital the contractions stopped. Great. I knew that sometimes that can happen so Josh and I started walking and I tried to relax and not think any negative thoughts! I was sure our little girl would be here before the morning.
I walked, I showered, walked some more....I did everything you can do to encourage things along but the contractions were just irregular and not very strong. I was on an emotional roller coaster at this point, trying not to feel discouraged that labor was not going as planned. Around 9am the next morning I let the doctor break my water, convinced that this would move things along within a few hours. Again...labor just never goes as you plan. Kathy Taylor, our doula, suggested I try thumb sucking and a few other embarrassing things to move things along...they helped but not for long.
Fast forward some hours and I was feeling exhausted. They had been asking me to start pitocin since the night before and I had wanted to wait. Part of me was just terrified that I was about to have another baby with an 18 month old at home! So after 18 hours, I decided to take the pitocin.
Things got serious, and fast. The first contraction hit me and I immediately knew this was it. I had been 7 centimeters dilated when they started it, and now things were moving with incredible speed and force. I held onto Josh while Kathy was using pressure on my lower back. The whole world around me disappeared and from this point on I have no real visual memory. All I could hear were whispers around me saying "relax your hands, relax your face"...and the counting down of contractions. My mind was racing so fast, I was trying to remember all my birthing classes, every birth story that described labor like waves crashing - effortless and painless. This was not that. This was like being thrashed in the ocean during the storm. The pain was overwhelming and fast, flooding my head and taking over any thoughts, I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. All I could do was scream!
Well, it was less screaming and more very VERY loud moaning and ...well, animal noises I suppose!
At one point I remember being on my back, I can feel her head moving down and then I can feel my body pushing down, hard and fast. The nurses are urging me to not push, and I tell them "I'm not!". My body was acting totally on it's own at this point. I look around and realize there are a good 6 or 7 nurses here now...but no doctor! One of the nurses says "I've never caught a baby before". I can see why they are trying to keep me from pushing...they seem to be decided who is going to catch the baby at this point, and none of them seem too excited.
Finally the pitocin is turned off, and things become suddenly manageable. I am able to breath, and control the pushing a little better. In my head I think "why did I want to know what this is like!" I can now feel her head, and the doula reminds me to reach down, I actually could feel her head! About this time the doctor finally runs in, in sandals and all. As soon as he walks over to the bed he informs me he will need to cut. I say "yes, do it, just get her out!"
Willow Heart Schwing was born at 4pm on June 9th.
7lbs 14oz and 20" long. She has the most perfect round head I've ever seen on a newborn, due to the quick decent! So after 20 hours she is here and I have never felt better. Even though labor didn't go anything like I had planned...I would do it again in a second!
As my mom is in the waiting room, the other people say to her "so that was your daughter we just heard screaming then?" Apparently I was louder than I thought! Later the nurses came in to inform me they had never seen someone labor with such amazing control. That made me feel great, but I was surprised too because from my standpoint, I was anything but controlled.
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